Balancing Time with Twins and Other Siblings

31 December 2025

Parenting is a full-time job, but when you're raising twins along with other siblings, time feels like a scarce resource. Juggling the needs of two babies (or toddlers) while ensuring their older sibling(s) don’t feel left out can be overwhelming. But don’t worry—you’re not alone, and with the right strategies, balance is absolutely possible.

Let’s dive into real, actionable ways to create harmony between your twins and their siblings without losing your sanity.

The Challenge of Dividing Time Equally

When you have twins, they often demand attention at the same time. Add an older or younger sibling into the mix, and it’s easy for one child to feel neglected.

The guilt? It’s real. You might feel like you're constantly failing someone because you can't be in three places at once. But remember—parenting isn’t about perfection. It's about doing your best and making small efforts count.

So, how can you ensure all your kids feel loved and valued? The key lies in intentional parenting—making mindful choices that benefit all your children.

1. Prioritize One-on-One Time

It might seem impossible, but carving out individual moments with each child can make a huge difference.

- With Your Twins: While twins often share playtime, try to have separate moments with each. This can be as simple as letting one sit with you while you read a book while the other plays independently.
- With Other Siblings: Older siblings may feel left out, especially if they went from being the center of attention to suddenly sharing parents with two new babies. Even 10-15 minutes of focused attention—without interruptions—can help.

💡 Pro Tip: Create a small ritual with each child, like a bedtime story, a short walk, or a secret handshake. These tiny traditions build strong bonds.

2. Encourage Sibling Bonding

Instead of trying to be everything for each child, help them build relationships with each other.

- Let older siblings participate in taking care of the twins (in a fun way, not as a chore). They can help pick out clothes, sing songs, or entertain the babies while you prepare meals.
- Foster teamwork by setting up activities they can all enjoy together—group reading, craft time, or family walks.

Children thrive when they feel like a valued part of the family unit rather than separate individuals competing for attention.

3. Get Smart with Your Schedule

A predictable routine reduces meltdowns and helps you manage time better.

- Sync Nap and Meal Times: If possible, try to have your twins nap at the same time so you can spend that period with your older child.
- Use Time Blocks: Plan certain activities around when your older child is at school or daycare, so you can focus on the twins during those hours.
- Rotate Attention: If your twins play independently for a while, take that time to focus on the older sibling.

Consistency creates stability, making children feel more secure and less likely to act out for attention.

4. Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

Let’s be honest—some days, the balance will feel off. That’s okay.

You’re not superhuman. Some days, the twins will need you more. Other days, your older child may feel left out even when you try your best.

💡 Remember: Parenting seasons shift. What feels chaotic today will change as they grow. Give yourself grace and focus on progress, not perfection.

5. Lean on Your Village

Raising multiple kids is not a solo sport. If help is available—take it!

- Partner Support: If you have a partner, divide responsibilities. Maybe one takes the twins while the other has quality time with the older child.
- Grandparents, Relatives, and Friends: If trusted family members are willing to babysit or give your older child special attention, let them!
- Playdates: Arranging meetups with other parents helps your older child have social time while you focus on the twins.

Delegating doesn’t make you less of a parent—it makes you a smart parent.

6. Involve Your Older Child in Baby Care

Instead of making them feel like an outsider, turn them into a “mini helper.”

Here’s how:
- Let them hand you diapers or baby wipes.
- Encourage them to “read” to their younger siblings.
- Praise them for being responsible and caring.

This reinforces their role as an important part of the family rather than someone who's being sidelined.

7. Make the Most of Small Moments

Time doesn’t have to be measured in hours. Even brief, heartfelt interactions can bring balance.

👩‍👧 Example: Giving a big hug, making eye contact, and saying, “I love you so much, and I’m so glad you’re my kid” can mean more to an older child than an hour of distracted time.

💡 Hack: Use “stolen moments.” Sing together while cooking, talk in the car, or give extra cuddles before bed.

8. Accept That Jealousy Is Normal

Sibling rivalry isn’t just common—it’s expected. Your older child may feel jealous when the twins demand all your time, and the twins may eventually want more independence from each other.

Instead of trying to eliminate jealousy, help your kids express their feelings safely.

- Acknowledge Emotions: Let your older child know it’s okay to feel frustrated. Say, “I know it’s hard when the babies need so much of my time. I love you just as much as ever.”
- Set Fair (Not Equal) Expectations: Fair doesn’t always mean identical. Your older child might stay up later or get different privileges than the twins—and that’s okay.

9. Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself ensures you have the energy and patience required to balance multiple children.

- Get enough sleep (as much as possible).
- Eat well and stay active.
- Take breaks—even if it’s just sitting with a cup of coffee in silence.

Happy parents raise happy kids. Don’t underestimate the power of self-care.

The Bottom Line

Balancing time with twins and other siblings isn’t about being perfect—it’s about making meaningful connections whenever possible. Some days will be easier than others. Some moments will be frustrating. But through it all, your kids will remember your love, not your schedule.

Instead of stressing over equal time, focus on quality time. Small, everyday moments create the deepest bonds.

And above all? Give yourself grace. You’re doing better than you think.