The "Secret" Praise Technique Taking Parenting by Storm: Science Weighs In

March 7, 2026 - 20:53

A simple parenting strategy has captivated social media, with parents hailing it as a transformative tool for building a child's self-esteem. Dubbed the "secret praise" technique, the method involves a caregiver intentionally praising their child to another adult within the child's earshot, rather than delivering the compliment directly.

Viral posts from enthusiastic parents claim dramatic results, with one asserting, "I promise that if you do this in front of your child, their confidence will skyrocket!" The concept suggests that overhearing genuine, positive assessment feels more authentic and less like empty flattery to a child, allowing the praise to land with greater impact.

This anecdotal excitement now finds support in developmental psychology. Experts confirm the technique is rooted in sound science. When children overhear positive feedback, it is processed as an objective observation, bypassing the potential skepticism that can come with direct praise. This indirect method reinforces positive behaviors and self-perception more effectively, as the child integrates the compliment as a verifiable truth about themselves.

The practice leverages a child's natural tendency to listen in on adult conversations, turning a casual moment into a powerful psychological boost. By focusing on specific efforts or character traits—such as perseverance or kindness—parents can use this "secret" method to foster intrinsic motivation and a resilient sense of self-worth in their children.